I think whether or not it makes sense is kind of moot at this point. You have a major failure of communication and to me this is a problem. Dropping a vacation bomb on you this late in the game is very unprofessional.

If this were me I would outline every single issue you have as you have done here and maybe give her an idea that this isn’t fair to you (in a nice way of course since she is a great provider). Maybe ask her why she doesn’t have one and what other parents do. Just let her know that not having policies makes you feel nervous because you are the sort of person that doesn’t like surprises yadda yadda...make it about you, not her if that makes sense.

Anyway hopefully she gets her act together!

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