I pretty much raise only children. I've only had one sib set in care in the last nine years. 19 out of 20 kids come to me as newborns. The other one of twenty come as young infants.

The kids are raised here together their whole life. They don't know any other life but this. They have the same care givers every day and the same routine. We have a LOT of physical space where we can divide out the kids into their own areas and mix and match the kids to each other based on what they are doing at the time. We have a lot of space and flexibility. We also have a one adult to four children MAX ratio. Most days it is a one adult to 3 to 3.5 ratio. Our daily attendance is usually 6-7 kids.

My system of corrections begins when the children get mobile. I correct small behaviors so they don't lead to the more complex behaviors. I have probably five or six hundred rules of play that I use. I've never written them down but they are all systematic brick in the wall behavior building rules of play that lead to completely calm and stable kids.

I wouldn't ever have time to write out all the techniques but this is one I wrote for Justthebabysitter.com regarding children hitting babies: It's one of my techniques I call "Surrender to the Baby". I have used this technique for 17 years.

This is in response to a post where someone said an older kid hit a baby in their day care.

Me: If a kid in my house laid a hand on one of my babies they would be done that day. I've never had that happen in 16 years of doing day care. I don't give a $hit if it was my best family or not. I train these guys from the time they ARE babies to not touch my babies. Do not touch them or ANYTHING associated with them. When they get in your space or do something you don't like you SURRENDER to the baby. The baby ALWAYS wins at that very moment... until I come to correct.

When the baby does something they shouldn't and the kid surrenders then I go in and correct the baby. That's how it's done baby after baby.

Don't touch their toys.
Don't touch their exersaucers.
Don't touch their high chair.
Don't touch ANYTHING related to the babies.

DO NOT TOUCH MY BABIES.

So if one of the kids in my house who had been trained from the time they were babies to not touch my babies pinched or hit one of my babies it would mean they were COMPLETELY insane and out of control. That would be a crime of biblical proportions here. They would have to go that day. NO exceptions.

Surrender to the baby is a building block of tolerance that must be ingrained in them from the time they are very young. It's a system where they basically collapse and avoid any conflict brought by the baby. If the baby is trying to climb up on the toddler the toddler just folds over and lets the baby do it. They don't push the baby away or jut their body away... they just relax and allow it until I come to remove the baby off of them.

If a baby tries to take their toys they give it to them. They don't play tug of war. They don't body block the baby so the baby can't get their body to the toy. They don't hold the toy up in the air so the baby can't reach it. They learn to NOT do the normal things kids do to protect their own stuff. They do MY system which is let the baby win at the moment with no conflict and then I will come in and "right" it by restoring your position and the toy you have been playing with.

The baby will be disciplined by ME... not the kid.

This techniques ingranes into the childrens heads that the younger kids are no competition to them. Their job is to PROTECT the baby that is doing something unfair or unsafe. They think of the BABY first... not themselves... because they know in a second or two the world will be right again.

This is done with every single child from about eight months on. The children learn to surrender to younger children when the younger one is not being fair. They learn to NOT fight it out. They learn they we will right it if they are wronged.

They do not COMPETE ever with each other. Surrender to the baby is the foundational tool for a non competition mindset.

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that's one of my techniques... I have about five hundred others.

You said: What happens if little timmy comes in one Monday morning and hit another kid. Just once. What would you do.

Well I haven't had that happen but I would most likely kick the kid out. The parents would understand this though because as time rolls on with thier kid in my house they go month after month... year after year.. .with NEVER having their own kid being hit and never hearing their kid hit. So if after two/three/four years of nothing ever happening and all of a sudden it does... That would be pretty serious to them and really serious to the parents of the kid that got hit and to me.

I have a zero tolerance policy for hitting and they all know it. When you have that in place the parents know from the time the babies are newborns that this is something they will loose this child care over. The parents are keenly aware that any violence will lead me to boot them so they need to keep their kid in check from the go so year after year... kid after kid .. they do.

It would break my heart but I don't think I could feel secure in my work if I had a kid that was raised here and was violent. It would mean that the kid just didn't get what we do here or has an impulse control that's lacking severely. I just couldn't keep up with that so I would sadly have to terminate.

It's all in theory tho... I haven't ever had to do that... but you are asking what I would do so I can only guess this would be it.

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