Sorry Silver.
It's tough for sure and unfortunately our area dictates much of the business and income we get.
I could only suggest before you hold the baby you could say, "Oh, let me go wash my hands first!" lol But that's about it. Sounds like you're a great interviewer and don't suck at all. It's just tough.
How many dcks do you have so far? How many of your own? If I ever hear of anyone moving to your area or working over there needing someone I will for sure refer you!