Originally Posted by Texasjeepgirl:
obviously this goes off the subject of this thread...
But.. I suspected that if I put in there that I was the visiting parent.. I would get some comments/questions... considering I am a LICENSED CHILD CARE PROVIDER...
When my ex-husband and I divorced... after 15 years.. it wasn't an ugly horrible divorce...
it was calm... rational.. ... we just realized.. after 3 years of discussing it now and then...that we had both reached a point where we knew our marriage was over.. and time to move on ...
When it came to deciding who would have custody of our two girls.. ages 10 and 6...
Our daughters were both attending private Catholic school ( we are not Catholic...but it is an EXCELLENT school in our town...and the public school.. well.. not as excellent)... the school is small.. and does not provide transportation...parent delivery and pick up only.
My daycare is open from 7 a.m. til 5:30 p.m.... I am LICENSED for 12 children.... and I work alone.
I would not be able to drive my 2 daughters to school each day... nor would I be able to pick them up.... My ex-husband is self employed... and his shop is only a few blocks from the school.. so.. he would be able to drop them at school each day... and pick them up......
So after much soul searching...agony..... I knew the best option.. for least amount of disruption in everyone's day..... was for my two girls to live with their daddy...
It just made more sense...than for him to have to drive to my home every single day... twice...once to pick them up to deliver them to school...and once in the afternoon to drop them off...
I have paid child support for 10 years...
I've had plenty of judgement over this issue... Most especially from my new husband's ex wife...
She is mean... and works hard to cause as much misery to us as possible...
She loves to tell my step children that I don't love my girls... that I never wanted them.. that I 'gave them up' because I didn't want to be burdened by them...
When in fact... I believe I was doing what was best not only for my children...but for all of us...
The fact is... My ex-husband is a fantastic man.. a MORE THAN WONDERFUL FATHER...
I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for him...
and I knew he had as much right to be the PRIMARY Parent as I did ...
Obviously.. most of the time.. children live with their mommy after a divorce...
I've heard so many women say to me..
No way would ever 'let' my ex TAKE MY CHILDREN AWAY from me..
Well that is NOT how this was...
I didn't feel he took them from me...we made this decision together..
and it made the most sense given our circumstances...
The trauma of divorce is difficult .. The changes the kids must go through are so rough.. I just wanted there to be as much consistency for them as possible..
The great thing is... this is a small town.. my ex husband ended up buying a house about 8 blocks from the house I bought... My girls spent the night with me every Wednesday...and 1st .. 3rd and 5th weekends.. holidays... 4-5 weeks in the summer...
etc..
My oldest daughter came to live with me a week after she graduated from high school... in '08...she went back and forth living with me.. living on her own.. living with me... till she got married 1 year ago...my granddaughter is 16 months old...and is in my daycare every day 
My 17 year old daughter came to live with me 18 months ago... she loved living with her daddy and stepmom.. but...she also wanted to live with mama for awhile before she was grown...She is a senior in high school.. will graduate in a few weeks.. works at Chili's as a hostess...and the rest of the time is my frequent companion... since my husband took a second shift job last year...
She is going with us at the end of May.. on our first trip to Cancun..(as mentioned in previous post)..
....
WWW.TEXASJEEPGIRL.SHUTTERFLY.COM
That is just awesome that you and your ex-husband were able to make important decisions together in your kids' best interests like that!
Your children had to have felt so loved by both of you. I wish all couples who divorce could be friends and always do what is best for the kids. I have a friend whose marriage fell apart last year and there has been nothing but animosity between her and her now ex-husband. I see how it is hurting her girls and it breaks my heart.
And how awesome is it that you get to be with your granddaughter now every day!!!!