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Blackcat31 09:19 AM 03-23-2012
Ok, I am going to jump in here and say that I had this same problem last week. It had actually been going on for a while and I was tired of redirecting this same kid (new 4 yr old) and I am sure his parents were getting tired of paying for stuff too so I decided to separate him.

I don;t know if separation is the right word, but I basically did what I think Mac is trying to say. I gave him his own place to paly that was separated from the other kids. It was a small space in the corner of the room where he was still in sight of the others. Part of my point in doing that was I wanted him to SEE everyone else playing appropriately with things which is how he should have been playing and normally did.

His mom and I tried all sorts of things and none of them worked. He was apparently going through some sort of phase and basically was a great kid but had developed some destructive tendancies. (I kind of believe he liked the attention he was getting for doing these things...but I don't know...) So anyways, after he pretty much had to give me some of his toys from home, his mom had to replace/pay for some things and he was learning nothing from time outs....I decided to put him in the corner.

He stayed in the space, thinking spot or whatever you want to call it all day (*-4:30) and was not allowed to play with anything except the few toys I did give him (non-destructive things). He FULLY participated in lunch, group activites and outside time but none of the "free-play" choices that he was used to.

This went on for two days. Yes, two WHOLE days. At the end of the second day, he came ot me and apologized for breaking my things and said he wanted to play with the other kids and toys and he promised he would be nice to the toys and books. He hugged me and I agreed that we would start over the next day.

He has been out of his "thinking spot" now for 3 full weeks and has NOT once broke a single toy. As a matter of fact, he reminds others to be gentle now.

So I don't know if this is what Mac was talking about or not but I did this and it worked. I had tried all the other redirecting, shadowing and time outs and a few other things but nothing worked. It almost seemed like the more I tried, the more he broke! Finally, I had enough and basically put him "on a blanket without anything breakable" and he did learn. He is back to being the great little guy he always was.

Basically, I think that any type of "fix" we are going to use needs to be discussed with parents, and we need to work together to find a solution. I don't normally use that type of behavioral modification but in this case, I saw some awesoem results. DIfferent kids need different things and some of the things we are now taught in the ECE field are kind of rediculous IMHO. I am all for child-led things and stuff but he77 if I will allow a child to be destructive without some sort of consequence, punishment, redirections, guidance...call it what you want.

We figured it out and we are all happy now.
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