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mommyneedsadayoff 09:42 AM 05-07-2016
Originally Posted by starry_sassy:
To everyone who responded: thank you for your input. The daycare is not a big chain. I would say it's a medium-sized nonprofit. I am not looking to switch my daughter b/c I think the daycare as a whole is good and my daughter is comfortable there. There are also not too many other options that would work near me. I think the teacher is good at her job and is not rude to my child. It is her tone that bothers me mostly, although sometimes she is definitely rude to me (everyone has a bad day sometimes, I get it). I try to keep it as professional and polite as possible with her, and I usually spend about 15 or 20 minutes dropping off in the morning so my daughter can "ease in". I think maybe some of the issue is that a couple of months ago I had to ask the teacher (I think I did it in a nice way) to pretty much back off. When we first started at the daycare I was still figuring out the whole mom thing and now I need everyone's help less. The teacher likes to offer advice and opinions, but I think a lot of what she says is wrong or just not helpful. I appreciate that she cares, but I feel like I can take care of my daughter my way. So maybe she's mad that I'm not wanting her advice? I do try to get over it, but I hate leaving my daughter and then the added tension really makes it worse . . .
If you think the provider is wrong, why do you keep bringing your child there? You can't take your kid to daycare and expect that her care will be done in YOUR way. It is group care, so her care will be done in a way that benefits the GROUP, not just your kid. If you want individualized care done YOUR way, you have to hire a nanny or stay home with her. Most likely, she is trying to offer advice to get you to leave quicker and to trust her, yet you think she is does it wrong and want it done your way

Originally Posted by starry_sassy:
Oh, yeah. I agree that liking each other is not required for good care. But I am very careful to be respectful of her, especially b/c I want her to be nice to my daughter. I don't feel that she is respectful of me in many ways. I have thought about talking to the director but I fear making the situation worse. I especially am worried about her taking it out on my daughter, so I'm in a position where I feel pretty stuck.
The bolded part kind of bugs me. Just because we sometimes have issues with parents does not mean we are going to be mean or even abusive to the child If you honestly feel they would hurt your child in retaliation, then why are you still bringing her and putting her in that potential danger? You either trust they are great fit for your child, or you don't, in which case, pull your daughter and figure out another way.

As others have said, 15-20 minute drop off is too long and making it harder for your daughter. You need to let your daughter know you are confident in your decision to bring her to this daycare (which it doesn't sound like you are, so maybe she is feeding off of that anxiety) and that she will be fine, have fun, and you will pick her up when you are off work. Stop dragging out the drop off and I bet you will see a huge difference. Good luck to you and just a word of advice...I have been a parent for 6 years and a provider for 17 and I still need advice on childcare and parenting all the time! It is great that you are finding your way as a parent, but don't stop listening to that advice, even if you don't use it or need it! Some day you may be at your wits end and that advice may come in useful, even if you disagree with it now. Parenting is an evolution. I am not the same parent I was 6 years ago and without the help of other parents and providers, I would have had a much harder time facing the obstacles that come with being a parent! Most people are not trying to undermine you as a parent, they just want to help
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