Oh I just completed my "family style" training. Ok, yes you only have to offer the minimum serving. So if you are serving pasta it is 1/4 C (shocking eh?) I do let them have 1/2 C of macaroni and cheese. Use your measuring cups as dippers and tell them they can scoop one serving (cup) and that is all. You may tell them they may have 1/2 slice of bread etc. I also do not do seconds unless they eat the majority of their other items.
I have the twin sibling set here at my house. 5 yo boy only eats carbs- if I melt cheese on carb he will eat it (grilled cheese, quesadilla etc) rarely eats protein. No veg except spaghetti sauce on pizza (which I add spinach etc into and puree) Spaghetti sauce on pasta he will literally wipe off! An occasional apple but that is it. Needless to say they have to give him laxatives every day so he will poop. I stirred peas into the mac and cheese today and he picked every one out of the shells! every one.
He is going to drive me crazy. He will forgo food over eating something he doesn't want to eat. No grapes, no watermelon.... bread, crackers, macaroni (unless it is red or green). He will only eat pb toast or pancakes for breakfast. No cereal or oatmeal. No milk. 3 yr old eats well but is starting to pick up on his I won't eat it. SO FRUSTRATING!
Side note- I do not serve family style because I feel like he needs to see at least a bite of everything on his plate even if he isn't going to eat it. And sister will eventually eat it if it is on her plate. Maybe in the fall when he goes off to kindergarten.