Originally Posted by Leigh:
First, I can see that you're hurt as a parent that your child was kicked out of Pre-K, and probably that your son has behaviors that are out of control-neither is easy for a parent to deal with. You had no control over the situation, you're understandably defensive (who isn't when it comes to their child?), and you say that there was not enough communication from the school.
I think it's laudable that they let him get up to five incidents, personally. A child that age who bit someone would have been let go from my childcare on the spot. It's too old to be biting. I wouldn't have let him finish the day, but called you to come pick him up immediately, and not allowed him back again. Biting is something that's normal for TWO year olds, not nearly 5 year olds. That fact that your son bit at all should be setting off all sorts of alarm bells in your head.
Your post indicates that you HAVE been notified of problem behaviors in the past. There was a history. The behavior you described would be something that most any childcare would terminate care for, especially if there was any history of such behaviors in the past. Most childcares don't notify parents of every incident-if something were truly out of character for a child, it might be brought up out of concern for the child's well-being, but it sounds to me like there IS a history.
I think that you're defensive because you were shocked by him getting kicked out, because perhaps you feel that you're being judged as a parent, and because you had no control over the incident-all are understandable reasons for you to feel this way.
The fact that the director didn't call you back angers you because you didn't have the opportunity to defend your son's bad behavior and maybe because you didn't have the opportunity to give him or her a piece of your mind. Let it go. No good will come from such a phone call. Nothing will change the school's mind. It's time to deal with reality.
Reality is: Your son has a behavior issue that the school is no longer willing to tolerate or try to cure. It's now on YOU to do so, and it's time to get going with it. Personally, I'd schedule a psych eval by a PSYCHIATRIST, not a counselor, psychologist, or therapist, were it MY child, and have him screened for anything that might cause these behaviors. Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADHD, Depression, and many more could be the cause. Once you have an answer, find a GOOD therapist to work with, and take the psychiatrist's and therapist's recommendations and follow them.
A child's personality is pretty much cemented by age 7 or 8. After that, he pretty much is who he is. You DO have time to change his path for the future, and that's what I would focus on: getting him better. A child doesn't act this way for no reason, and the behavior is absolutely not "normal" behavior. He needs help, and I hope you get it for him.
As far as the money thing: If your contract states that you owe the money, then you owe the money. It's something you agreed to. Going to court is an option, but you'll likely lose.
A 5 year old biting AND kicking a teacher?!
Not normal and in no way acceptable and something I would have terminated for immediately.
As far as the money goes... I don't know what your contract says but when you are looking it up, make sure you pay attention to the section that discusses behavior issues and injuries to other children and staff because if you choose to pursue the money side of things, you may find that the school was already pretty lax in dealing with or managing your child's behaviors and didn't terminate before...
I have a hard time believing your 5 yr old son simply had one bad day and exhibited all those behaviors suddenly and without warning. If that truly is the case then Leigh's advice is even more spot on and your child needs help.
Please do your child a huge benefit and stop focusing on the money and focus on the REAL issues happening. 10 years from now, paying for 2 weeks of services that you didn't get will be small beans.