This would have been my response:
Dear DCM,
I appreciate you taking the time to communicate your concerns with me and I would like to respond. I must say that since you are being honest with me I can only do the same. I have to admit that I had hoped that by now I had proven to you that I make good business decision in regards to the daycare and the children. In these many months that you have been a client I have grown to know you and your family and especially your child. I have gladly made accommodations for your family that are not by any means standard in child care and I have been forthcoming to any questions that you may have that are atypical in the realm of daycare. I know that entrusting your child in the hands of another person is very difficult for any parent however I must admit that your fears go above those of the typical array of "first time" fears and I have always been more than willing to work with your family in an attempt to ease your fears.
After today however I must come to the realization that I will probably not ever be able to accomplish that you trust me fully with your child and in the decisions that I make. That thought to me is disappointing considering that the main goal in my business is to create a partnership based on mutual respect and trust. I would like to set aside some time to meet with you in person so that we can discuss whether our arrangement can continue with only half of that being met.
As far as the new male assistant goes I must ask you, would it had made a difference if my choice in assistant had been a woman? I only ask because he came highly recommended and after only working with him for one day I found that his work ethic and mannerism with the children was wonderful and I will more than likely be using him again. It is unfortunate that you feel uncomfortable with the choice that I made or I can least hope that I am misunderstanding (which can happen in written communication) and perhaps you are only concerned because the idea of adding another employee was not discussed with you. If that is the case then I must admit that the thought had never occurred to me as I do not make it a habit to discuss business decisions with my clients including the hiring of new staff.
I was actually very pleased with the male assistant and grateful to have him here as he can add extra benefits that I and [other assistants] cannot provide to the children during daycare hours, such as a positive male role model. I understand that a male assistant in the daycare may be an interesting thought to your family however with more and more males entering the child care field I jumped at the opportunity to add this extra facet to the daycare, especially with someone of his caliber. I hope that I can at least put some of your fears to rest by saying that the male assistant will not be handling any diaper changes and will always be working alongside myself or [1st assistant]. I will be more than happy to share more information about him with you, the only reason why I had not done so with any of the families was because I was searching for a possible candidate for an assistant and if I did not like any of the candidates there would nothing to tell.
Again, I hope that we can set aside some time to meet in private to discuss your questions and concerns and to decide how to go forward.
DC PROVIDER
I would then go into the meeting with an open mind but also with a two-week written notice at the ready. If I found that the client would not be comfortable with the decisions that I make then it would be in both our interests to go our separate ways. Sometimes these types of parents just need a little bit of extra "petting" to ease their fears and other times they are simply exhausting and impossible to work with.
I know that I would love to have a male assistant, there are too many benefits to list especially if you work with single parent clients.
http://www.spacesforchildren.com/men.html - Scroll down to Gender is Culture
http://www.examiner.com/article/gend...-last-frontier