I rarely give parents a play by play account of what happened at daycare during the day because what happens here is handled here. Unless it is a serious offense, I keep it at daycare since I do not expect a parent to punish their child for something they did here no more than I am willing to punish for something that happened at home.

In your situation, I would mention to the parent that you and the child are having some listening/behavior problems and ask if anything is different at home with her listening skills since home life does affect the whole child. I would expect that they may have a talk with her but if they choose not to, the only thing you could do is just stay consistent with your rules at daycare and not buy into her "princessness". Stay firm and consistent and she will pick up on the fact that you are not changing the world for her and will not tolerate her being mean to others or disrupting lunch. If she chooses not to eat it is her choice.

Personally, I think if you lay all this out to the parents, they may not think you are treating "her royal highness" in a royal enough way...kwim? As a parent, I tried really hard not to make excuses for my child but it is hard not too when someone else is caring for them and we are having mommy guilt so we only hear that they (our kid) is not getting what they want and are sad/unhappy and that makes us (mommy) sad and unhappy so...see where this is going?

I have many kids who get completely different caregiving styles at home than what I give them and they have no problem adapting to the rules at my house vs the rules at home. Kids are pretty smart so they will figure it out quickly too if you are consistent and firm about your rules and expectations.

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