I let the children tell ME what my role is by asking a few simple questions:
Me: Whose house is this?
Child: Yours.
Me: And who's the boss in this house?
Child: You.
This also works when an older child tries to boss around the younger kids. But this simple exchange gets THEM to make the connections in their own heads about the clear line of authority.
I also agree with Nanny, "Go play". I often said, "it's none of your business. Go play." It's not being a drill sergeant, it's being a teacher. Sadly, in today's view of child rearing, the "experts" (most of whom I swear have never raised a child, let alone take care of multiple small children), we have to RESPECT them, their thoughts, their feelings, etc. I agree that there is a time and a place for that line of thinking, but not always. They need to learn that "no" means "no" or they will never be able to function in the real world, let alone flourish and succeed. Some things are constant and non-negotiable. You can't bicker and deal over the price of goods at Wal-Mart, you can't argue your way around the cost of gasoline, you can't argue with your landlord over the due date of your rent (or the amount), etc. Life is full of things that are constant and non-negotiable. The earlier they learn this FACT, the better prepared they will be for life.
Here's a question: for those who have had parents that have tried to bicker and deal over payments (after signing our contracts), were those parents younger or older? I have found that the younger the parents, the more wiggle room they seem to think they have to haggle after signing the contract. That's not to say that there aren't young parents that understand that they owe X amount each week. But overall, I have had the most problems with younger (18-24 year old) parents. The older ones almost never come to me with some sob story or asking for a break for this or that.
Could there be a link between this "don't just say no, redirect their attention to something else" attitude and the younger parents not understanding what "no" means?
And I LOVED the comment about trying to argue your way out of a speeding ticket. Personally, I have found that the nicer and more apologetic you are, the more likely the officer will give you a break (of course, I have been pulled over less than 5 times in my life - driving for 20 years).
