IMO, your DD has outgrown her provider. It sounds to me like the provider may prefer caring for infants. I'm saying this only because of your comments regarding the others leaving around the age as your child.
The comments you've said about her calling these children abnormal isn't right!!! She's obviously not been around many children over 16months.. It's called the terrible 2's
I recommend you find a pre-school for your child. Look into state help for the payments.