Originally Posted by badger411:
I have 2 kids that won't listen to anything I say. Kids are 3.5 yo dcg (in pullups even though she has no clue about potty training) and 5 yo dcb, siblings. Both are socially and developmentally delayed. They are here 3 days a week (I am open 7 days a week) for 13.5+ hours. Neither one listens to directions. The girl will only do something when you YELL at her to do it. She understands, but speaks in gibberish that only mom and dcb can understand. You must repeat the same instructions for the same infractions 10-15 times each day. The boy is very loud, loves violent play, and torments my dog to the point that she hides in corners and under my desk. I got advice to put them in time out, but in order for that to work, I would have to be standing there, physically holding them in the chair for the duration of the time out. Any other suggestions for behavior modification, since I can't afford to terminate?
You've indicated you want to keep these kiddos so I wanted to suggest some tips that may be helpful.
A few things stood out to me: the need to repeat instructions, the child's poorly understood speech, and the child's poor play skills in general. (As demonstrated by grossly inappropriate play)
If they aren't connected with the school district for early childhood special education services, see if the parent are interested and refer. It would be a huge help for them..
A strategy that may be helpful with following directions: keep your directions simple. (if the child is using 1-2 word sentences- directions should be no more that 3-4 words). Talk in context. (If you are asking the child to pick up toys, make sure the toys are in sight). And use gestures.
Set up the environment for success. If the child isn't ready for an animal in the environment right now; best option is separation from your pup until he learns gentle play. (Same goes for if they aren't ready for certain types of toys)
Limit play choices and model appropriate play during interactions.
Instead of time out, for most things you can try showing them what you want them to do instead. They dumped the toys, they have to clean up before the next activity. If the child hit help them to make the other child feel better and problem solve what they can do next time instead. (E.g.: ask for the toy). In my experience, time out is best for attention behaviors or when a child just needs a few minutes to calm down.
HTH