Originally Posted by Unregistered:
So -your message to the child consists of 6 words and it doesn't work, but Nannyde's 3 word message is a miracle cure? Sounds to me like you were saying the exact same thing to the child as Nannyde is recommending. I am confused as to how her solution is any different than what you've been doing already. I'm not trying to do a "troll" thing here but am just curious as to what makes her words any different from your words since they all seem to me to be/mean the exact same thing. I have a child just like this and I tell him the same sort of thing and yet he persists, so I'd really like to know the exact number of words that will magically make him stop!
Because the chaos you create around the no is the chaos that she is seeking. Decreasing the chaos means decreasing the TIME, words, and keeping your body language clear and directional.
Stand above her ...tell her "go play toys" with firm facial expressions and directional gestures (point towards toys and kids) and then turn YOUR body away so she sees only your back walking away.
If she's doing it to a group of kids at a toy do the same as above but do the directional gestures to ANOTHER area of toys and insist she go play toys there. She doesn't get chaos from you or get to create chaos with the kids. She needs to go to another area and go play toys... or go to another toy area and play toys to start over.
She must be successful everywhere she goes even if we have to orchestrate that based on her "engagement" behaviors.
It works. They get the idea that they need to make it with the kids... entertain themselves... and they can't suck the life out of the adult minute to minute. Once they get THAT then they are balanced and see the JOY in playing with their peeps with nice toys in a nice comfortable room.