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Old 04-06-2010, 11:01 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mac60 View Post
This is probably one of those debates that will never be solved. Someone is always going to disagree. And a parent does have and should have the right to say how their baby can and can't sleep, or has the government taken that right of parenting away too.
Mac,

I've lurked on this board for quite a while and just recently started posting. Over the many years of lurking I have found some posters that I really enjoy reading. You are at the top of my fave list I agree with you on almost everything. I don't agree with you on this one.

Here's the deal that many providers don't get: Parents don't have the right to get someone else to do something that's not best practice or safe. There are MANY situations where parents want something for a child but are not physically with the child to be the ONE person who takes responsibility for the decision. As soon as the responsibility becomes SHARED or soley on someone else the parents "rights" diminish greatly. That's because it's not just them that will pay.

In this situation... for example.. even if you had the parents provide "permission" for sleeping in a swing and something happened to the baby... then the PARENTS would most likely not be able to come after you for the death of their baby. The parents, however, can not decide what society or the goverment will do with you for this mistake. The parents can't get the Department of Human Services to not hold you accountable. The parents can't get the child's insurer to not come after you should the child not die but have life altering medical conditions because of a suffocation. The insurer won't give a flip what the parents told you to do. They will want the money for the child's care and they will want that from YOU.

You see there are other entities to consider. The parents are just ONE part of the package of who is affected by something happening to a child. Society, the government, and ANY business that has a financial stake in the child CAN and will make you accountable for the actions YOU take with the child.

See?

That's why I say that parents can't give permission for a provider to do the wrong thing. I can't TELL you how many times I have had parents tell me to do something that I simply can not do. One example was a few years back I had a Mom who wanted her newly turned SIX month old baby switched from formula to whole milk. She got free WIC but she wanted to keep the WIC for her at her house and have me just use milk. The baby was taking enough formula that what WIC gave didn't cover all of it. The Mom wanted ME to switch her to milk so she didn't have to provide formula.

I refused and educated her as to why babies under the age of one can't have whole milk (pernicious anemia, digestion etc.). The Mom insisted that SHE was the Mom and that SHE got to decide. I told her to get me a Doctors note saying that I could give milk. She actually took the kid to the Doc and of course.. the Doc refused to give the note for the same reasons I gave her.

She was furious and did a lot of stomping around because she believed what you believe.... that if she is the parents she should be able to decide. That was fine for when SHE was giving the milk but she couldn't ask ME or the Doc to be a part of doing something that research clearly indicates is not safe for a baby.

Same deal with the swing. It's just not safe to leave babies unattended in a swing sleeping. Their heads are very heavy and gravity can pull that head down. Their little necks and shoulders are not strong enough to RIGHT their head back in position. Having a heavy head jutted forward over the neck can cause the childs wind pipe to collapse and kill the child or cause a lack of oxygen that can permanently damage their brains. It's just not safe. There is a reason the State's one by one are putting it in their regs. It's simple laws of physics that tell you not to allow something heavy (head) over something weak (baby neck) and expect gravity to not take over and cause the big thing to crush the little.

See?

I understand your premise... but now maybe you can see a little different pov. It's a GREAT conversation to have... and I have had it over the years with many an experienced provider like you. Even with a lot of experience and the best interest of the kids.. you still can grow and change your opinions. I hope you do on this one.

Nan
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