I think if you had responded to her in the very first communication that you didn't do back up care but you did have a full time opening, that would have been perfectly fine and fair. But to e-mail her a second time with that information makes the whole situation cloudy in my opinion.

However, I do feel that if the parent really did want to switch daycare that it would be THEIR choice and providing information to someone isn't necessarily stealing a client but if the family really liked the other provider they wouldn't leave under any circumstances kwim?

I don't know... this is a hard one.
I think for me it comes down to that second e-mail.

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