I would email her right now.

"DCM,

Last night you were x minutes late. The fee will be x amount which will be due at pick up this evening. Failure to pay the fee will result in care not being available tomorrow. Please note my closing time is x and I am unable to accommodate late pick ups.

Thank you for your understanding

Sincerely,

Happy Provider"

If she questions it you can always say "I had an appointment last night that I was running late for because you were late, so I didn't have time. You are aware of the policy as we've already gone over it. If you can't make my closing time then you need to find a day care with later hours."

Yes, it's nice to do it face to face, but this way you can think about what to say out of the heat of the moment.

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