I don't do anything other than "neutral". I may bake cookies or something with the kids and they can share with whomever they please.

But I got tired of requests for TWO or MORE cards/gifts/projects etc because Snowflake has bio mom and step-mom and demanding grandma and numerous ex-girlfriends etc.
Or kids with no mom at all on the scene and Dad would request goodies for several grandmothers, aunts, current girlfriend etc. It became a huge "I want lots and lots of special" game and I refuse to do extra work because they can't keep their relationships in order.

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