American popular culture is only starting to recognize that spanking is not a disciplinary tool but a spirit-breaking tool. It's legal in the home but illegal in public schools and daycare--go figure. It would be overstepping and ineffective to try to persuade a spanking family to get on board with current thought on discipline.

While I'm located in the Bible Belt, I'm in a big city and it's not the culture here. I've only had one family who spanked (mercifully) and their children were a mess of anxiety and aggression while the parents were a mess of inattention and posturing. I think the spanking was probably a symptom of their off-kilter emotions and behavior instead of a cause of it.

In some families, spanking is traumatic for the children. In some families, I don't think it makes much difference. In either case, trying to change it is spitting into the wind. We'll have to wait one more generation for the practice to die out.

In the meantime, just deal with the behaviors that happen while on your turf. Aggression at this age is very typical as kids struggle to understand and communicate while on the cusp of mastering language.

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