Ok, I will start by giving you all a background story on this family. Sorry but this is long.

Two years ago I enrolled a family into my daycare, at that time the little boy was just over a year old. When the dcm enrolled with me I was running a special low rate for single mom’s. (I really needed to fill spaces at that time and it was a quick way to do it). The rate that I offered this dcm was $400.00/month, that is a $250.00/month savings for this dcm compared to my regular full time rate of $650.00/month.

I soon became friends (to an extent) with this mother and I bonded really deeply with the dcb.

Six months after the family enrolled with me I informed the mom that I felt something was off with her son (he was really behind both cognitively and physically) and I suggested she take him in for an evaluation. She did take him in for an evaluation, A YEAR AFTER I SUGGESTED IT, and her son is autistic.

So here’s what’s going on…

I have had numerous problems with this mother;

1. Dropping off at 7:10am every morning when I open at 7:30am. I tried reminding the mother and asking her not to come until 7:30am, that never worked. Finally I fixed the problem by not unlocking my door until 7:30am on the bell. Unfortunately she still stands outside my door for sometimes upwards of 15 minutes and allows her son to bang on it! Her excuse is if she doesn’t let him he screams. If my husband leaves through that door and forgets to lock it she will walk right in. I get so upset over this! Last time it happened I walked to the door and said, “Gee, I didn’t realize the door was unlocked it’s not 7:30am yet.” She responded, “Ya but it’s 7:25am so close enough.” And then laughed. I was so mad! The extra 5 minutes would have given me enough time to finish getting myself ready for the day.

2. Sending her son to daycare with food and toys. I DO NOT allow outside food and toys in my daycare. I get so frustrated having to repeat myself over and over again! Yesterday morning dcb walked in with a chocolate tim bit in his hand! Her excuse is if she takes it from him in the car he screams so it’s easier if I take it from him.

3. She insisted 4 months ago that I cut out dcb’s nap because he is not sleeping well at night and it is stressing her out. I said no, everyone in my care naps. What exactly am I suppose to do with a LOUD autistic non-napping child at naptime?

4. In March of this year I changed my hours on Friday so I could close at 4:30pm. All but this daycare mom made accommodations for me to do so, dcm said there was no way that she could pick up at 4:30pm on Fridays. I had one Friday per month were I was truly closed at 4:30pm due to this mom’s EDO she had every third Friday off work. In June of this year the mom informed me that she would be using her EDO time for any of her son’s appointments so he would be here until 5:15pm (my closing time) every single Friday. OMG REALLY!? So, this whole time the mom could have been using her EDO time to get off a little earlier on Fridays to pick up her son by 4:30pm and she didn’t even breath a word of this to me. I fixed that one, I told her I was going to be closed every Friday at 4:30pm PERIOD, amazingly enough she has had no problems picking up her son at 4:30pm every Friday since then.

5. Wanting to pick up in the middle of naptime once a week every week. This started two months ago. Dcm said that she would be picking her son up at 1:30pm every Friday for her son’s appointments for autism. I told her that, that won’t work for me and she either has to pick up before 12:30pm or after 2:30pm. Her son is autistic and he is the LOUDEST child that I have. When mom shows up to pick up he is completely out of control. Screaming at the top of his lungs! So much so that I implemented Nan’s bye bye outside program for 2 weeks to re-train both the dcb and the mom.

6. She also asked me if he could have his therapy sessions at my house twice a week for an hour and when I said no for obvious reasons she huffed and stomped out of the house.

7. Today dcm walks in and says, “I know you don’t prefer to have drop offs and pick ups during 12:30pm and 2:30pm but all my son’s appointments on Friday got changed so I will have to pick him up during that time. I was like no I’m sorry that won’t work for me, he has to be picked up either before 12:30pm or after 2:30pm, I am not changing my policies for one person. She huffed and said she didn’t know what she was going to do then and stomped out the door. I was like, hmmm, didn’t we already go over this?

At this point, I have just about had it! Not only is this mom receiving a $250/month discount, but she insists on having MORE special than everyone else in my care. Also, had I known earlier her son was autistic I would have given her a higher than regular rate, not lower.

On top of that there is very little parenting going on, on mom’s side of things. Dcb is here from my opening until closing Monday through Friday. She even arrives earlier than my opening time and sits in the car with dcb waiting for me to open. I know for a matter of fact that mom doesn’t work until 8:00am and it only takes her 15 minutes to get to work! Dcm informed me that when she gets home her and dcb have supper, she baths him and puts him in his bedroom to watch a movie at 6:30pm until he falls asleep. She puts a baby gate up so he can’t get out. So Monday to Friday Dcb only gets 5 hours total of face time with dcm.

Dcm cannot control her son. He doesn’t listen to her. He will scream, hit, throw things at her and she does nothing to correct this behaviour. When he is with me he is well behaved, follows my rules and would never dream of hitting me or throwing stuff at me, he knows it’s not allowed. I keep his day structured and the same, as that is what works best with autistic children and in the end I think it keeps his behaviour very much in check and I am able to control him.

I just don’t know what to do at this point. I feel disrespected, taken advantage of, walked on and hurt.

Any advice?

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