Frustrated Mommy,
I am actually dealing with this right now. My 4 year old dkg, whom has been with me since 6 weeks, now does not sleep at naptime. She is not disruptive in any way, just cannot fall asleep (mostly she just watches me mop, fold clothes and blows me kisses...
).
Now,After 30 minutes down on her mat, I put headphones on her, scoot her up to my desk, and log her into Time4learning.com. Her mother and I both have the password, her mother pays the subscription fee, and she feels like such a big girl!! She even can print out her scores and certificates for the week. It is preparing her for pre-k, next year while allowing me to meet the needs of everyone else.
As a mother I understand your need to see your daughter treated like the unique person she is and the effects of "Mothers guilt". As a childcare provider I understand the frustration of one child/parent making it difficult to care for the rest in a fair and consistent manner. As a paramedic I know the outright anger of transporting a dead child that could have been saved if he/she had been taught "NO" early and consistently. Please understand that is what is fueling the longterm providers frustration....not freetime to watch their soaps...I promise.
If my particular dkg had been disruptive or if this was more about being spiteful in any way, I would have to stick to the original rules set up in the original contract. (I consider it a reward, not a right.) If the "request" was from the mother (for reasons like "I want her to sleep for the night-time babysitter so she does not kick her out" ...yes, that happens way too much
), even though the child obviously needed the nap, I would have to stick to the contract. I am about the best interest of the child. Sometimes that is not the best interest of myself or the parents.
I know it has been questioned why people get into home daycare...Everyone has their own reason. I would recommend asking them, in person, the first time you meet a prospective caregiver. It might save you some heartache. I, personally, got into daycare after my son died in daycare. It afforded me the ability to stay home with my own children, when I was ready to have more, while earning an income to afford them... Now they are teenagers and the dck have made them better, more compassionate people.