Originally Posted by Ariana:
But you yourself said that we have no idea what is going on in the parents life and yet you KNOW all of this. If we knew all of this we would feel the same way and most people in desperate situations will tell you. We have parents that are doing their best but I am not naive enough to think that every parent is fighting some invisible fight that no one else sees 
Some parents are jerks, full stop. I have definitely been in this business and in this world long enough to know that.
Just because I happen to be aware of that info doesn't change things. If I had a family with similar behaviors and I was completely in the dark about their reasons, I wouldn't automatically assume they are bad parents that don't love or deserve their kids.
It's not okay to assume you (general you as the provider) know the reasons behind their actions. THAT was my point.
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I think you actually just proved the point of the OP. There are two people who make a baby and one wants nothing to do with the child other than to play video games and stay up late.
The dad works nights so he sleeps during the day and even on his day off. Dad works alot but he tries his hardest to spend what time he can with DCB. Even if that means in the evening hours. The other parent is trying to make up the difference, but is severely detached in the process. The baby often becomes a reminder of the resentment they hold for the other parent. In the case you represent, mom is taking on the full parental responsibility, as well as dealing with major family issues.
Yep. DCM is taking on full responsibility for her family but she isn't and was never married to DCD. They lived together in a house (DCM owns) but both parents really do what they are able.
I know many people, myself included, who have dealt with the same, but would never leave their kid in a knowingly unsafe place and let them survive on junk. Tragic circumstance does not allow you to escape parental responsibility.
Like I said, these parents are young but they are doing everything they are able to do under the circumstances.
Unfortunately, at 23, you are so young and often have no idea of the impact of your choices, so in this case, I would just feel really bad for them, but I think the lack of time with their child will be felt later on.
This mom is far more mature than most my clients over 30. She is definitely not the stereotypical 23 yr old.
My kids come with me when we take my dad to the doc, even on the trips to the city that are all day events. But, I am 35 and realize the importance of being there for my dad, as well as being there for my kids. I can extend myself in many directions. I am pretty sure, at 23, I only thought about the impact it all had on MY life. My mom was dying, my dad was in debt up to his eyeballs trying to care for her, my brother was diagnosed as bipolar after a very long ordeal including him being missing for several days...my world was imploding, but it was all about how it effected me. So maybe age has a huge factor as well. I am not sure the answer and we never really know what people have going on, but I am also getting tired of the excuses. I work with mostly 20 somethings as a server and it is nothing but excuse after excuse, so my judgement may have gotten the best of me! 
I replied a bit in bold above.
My point was we don't know everything.
We don't know why parents do/say what they do.
We "think" we do. But we don't.
