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nannyde 11:14 AM 08-09-2012
Originally Posted by Logged Out for Privacy2:
Thank you so much for posting this and being honest. I feel exactly the same way, except, to be honest, I've fallen a little more out of control.

I used to be a classroom teacher dealing with 28 kids at a time, but I had breaks, specials like art, music, recess, lunch, prep time. I had co-workers and I had accountability.

Now I'm alone with these kids all day everyday. I find myself struggling with anger, for no reason. On days when I'm not even that busy. I don't like it, I'm worried I might not be safe with them and maybe I shouldn't be doing this job, but I can't tell anyone. I find myself being too rough with them, and yes, I have spanked some on occasion. Not hard, just a swat or two. I find myself grabbing by the arm too rougly and clenching my jaw and being mad in my head.

I can't tell anyone because like you said, shame and losing my whole family, business, life. I don't know what to do either. I keep trying to pray about it, but then not much longer I lose my cool.

I'm so embarrassed to post this, I don't want people to think I'm a monster and I haven't had the guts to post it, thank you OP for posting how you're really handling it.
You are welcome to call me too friend. Any time day or night. You have both numbers and I'll answer any time.
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