I trust red flags. Obviously if you Fear for your child being at this place - and don’t feel better after speaking with the staff- pull her.

The two incidents you describe could be nothing but in combination with her wetting herself since starting there, Id pull my child personally -, at least if potty training were long established. Children have few ways to let us know what’s going on when we aren’t there.

Even verbal children often can’t really let us know exact situations. Wetting themselves is often a sign of stress and again - in combination with your Red flag feelings personally I’d pull if my child didn’t “have” to be there especially.

I’ve worked at enough daycare centers to know that there are a certain number of insensitive, apathetic and sometimes downright abusive care givers out there.
Trust your instincts.
Also as far as your child saying “only boys get cupcakes” - to me that sounds like something one or two of the little boys could have said to her as a taunt/tease, regardless of if other little girls were eating cupcakes right next to them.
Sometimes kids refuse treats because they are pouting or feeling off for whatever reason though. Just a thought.

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