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Old 12-11-2013, 07:00 PM
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cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,414

I dont think staying for hours is going to help in this case. Your daughter is very young and according to you, not having issues with the initial separation, secondly you dont have the time to really do this scenario anyway, thirdly, your provider may really be opposed to this and as she has already started care and this was not discussed at interview, I can see how it could be a real conflict may come across as a demanding mom who does not trust a provider when the provider has already started caring for the child without your presence.

I am thinking the issue may be more of the following:

Is your child still breastfeeding? Have they just now transitioned to bottles? Is your child taking bottles well and in a timely fashion from the provider?

Is your child on a nap schedule and are they napping well at daycare?

Is your child being overstimulated? A new place with a busy group of kids, music or TV on a lot, new smells (especially if the provider has pets or uses a lot of harsh cleaners or fragrances) can all be a big change for babies.

None of these things are going to change due to you staying for hours for a couple weeks. The best way is to just discuss what you are seeing with your provider and work together on plan that is realistic for both of you. She cant change everything to accommodate just your child, you would need a nanny for that. But you also have to make sure that you are communicating well on your daughters eating and sleeping patterns. If the daycare has a routine that the baby is put on, perhaps it is you that will compromise and revamp things at home to match the daycare and keep continuity for your child.

This is just a start but again, I personally would not want a parent here hanging around for hours, especially with a infant. The strategy may be more effective with toddlers or preschoolers but again, not all kids are helped by having moms around. For many kids, quick goodbyes are best as is giving time for the provider and child to work out their relationship.

No matter what you do, if you are using daycare, your baby WILL miss you. It is perfectly normal AND healthy for her to cling to you at home and become more needy with the extended absence. That is what babies do and again, it is healthy. I would be very worried if she did not care when you left and was not upset by prolonged absences, you know? So it is possible this whole deal is just the adjustment period and I personally think that is what it is, provided she is eating and sleeping well there.