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professionalmom 08:48 PM 07-28-2010
Originally Posted by JustMom:
Wow! I came onto this forum looking for a few answers and stumbled across this thread. Here's another spin on "modern parenting"- Most of us don't go to work out of boredom. Or because we're looking for a hobby. It's to provide for our kids, same as you. And more often than not, it's to compensate for the "fathers" out there who don't have a clue or desire to be a provider or even a presence in their kids lives. And it really, truly does suck that some jobs have really sucky hours. But in 2010, you can't exactly design your dream job and have it magically appear. We do what we have to do. And as a single mother through no fault of my own, it's particularly difficult to hand off my little girls everyday. There is absolutely nothing in the world that I would rather do than be a stay at home mom to my children. But then we wouldn't even have a home! Short of winning the lottery, there is no way I can ever achieve that status as a stay at home mom. And it breaks my heart every single day. So maybe a little more compassion and less judgment on working mothers. And I am one of them that will do errands between work and daycare! I would rather my 1 year old be playing and having fun than getting in and out of the car and being drug around in 90 degree heat. I'd rather race as fast as I can and get it done first.
And, by the way, I am 39 and have 2 little girls, 6 and 1.
You do not sound like the type of parent I was wondering about. There are parents out there that spend less than 20-30 waking hours a week with their children, not because they HAVE to be away that much, but because they DESIGN it that way. Between work, school, running errands, dating, vacation or "mental health" days, etc., they are almost never with their children.

Also, please do not describe yourself as a "single mom", if you are not one. If you are widowed, divorced, etc., please say that instead. When someone tells me that they are a "single parent", I assume that it means never married, got knocked up, etc. In that case, it wouldn't be "through no fault of my own", because you did cause it by having sex (rape being the exception).

Also, I do have a lot of compassion for working mothers. My mother was one. I was one - even though I worked at home, running a daycare. Sadly, there seems to be a movement that parents should live life to the fullest while leaving their kids in daycare and that scares me. However, women like you who are on your own, trying to spend as much time as possible with your kids and minimize their time in daycare are to be applauded for your strength and dedication. Sadly, I have seen quite the opposite and my heart bleeds for those children.

As for the parent I described, I stated that I admired her dedication to try to do it all. What bothered me was her BLAMING me for her child having issues at drop-off. I wasn't the problem. The lack of time with mom was the problem, not that I'm "blaming" her either. But how can someone blame me when a 2 year old child is confronted with NO mommy time?