Originally Posted by gelbesonn:
First of all.... just to make double check and offer another perspective... does this family have a food insecurity (trouble affording food at home). If so, you may want to think differently about how you address the situation.
Otherwise....
I agree with pp about charging her. The only time I send a kid with a meal/snack is if the parent comes to pick the child up at PM snack time. Since I am on the food program, I will ask the parent if they want me to pack something up that is car friendly.... but this is only one family that does this and I 
family.
I have set meal times. Sometimes the kids say they aren't hungry and don't want to eat. I remind them that this is meal time (usually happens at PM snack) and if they don't eat now, they may have water later, but need to wait until they go home to eat. Some kids will tell me later that they are hungry (usually my afterschool kids) and I will remind them of the rules. I would suggest doing this with the kid (enforcing the snack times) and then when he wants food at pick-up you can be the enforcer. When the mom insists on giving him a snack, tell her AND child: "Little Joey knows that snack time is over and if he wants something to eat he can get it at home. Little Joey... get ready to go really quick so you can go home and eat!"
thanks for responding. NO, this family does not have money issues, i can reassure you of that.
I also never pack any food to go. A child eating in the car is not something that I want to contribute to. What if the child chokes while DCP is driving? Maybe I am a worry wart, but I like to reduce the probability of anything coming back on me, so no food to go. EVER.
And yes, you are right, I need to be the enforcer and speak up. I will be certain to remind them that they can eat at home..
Thank you all for all of the ammo. I need words, but what i think I really need is to cut them off from the start by not letting the child get back into my home area.
I need a better pick up routine.
1. have child ready to go if possible
2. when DCP knocks on the door, let them in grab child from DCroom and help them to their parent.
3. I am going to start walking away. I will tend to something else.
4. Send home more reports in writing so I dont have to chit chat. Or I can call mom later if it is that big of a deal.
Ugh... I said it, now I have to do it. I already know this, but when it comes time for me to do it, for some reason I cave in.....