So I had posted that I had two new kids in care, who only played video games and watched TV at home. I've had some issues with the mom, as well, and have tried to gently tell her time and time again the way I run things. She is a former home daycare provider, and is always emailing or texting me telling me to do this, that, or the other. She did turn me on to MGT and we are using it, I was grateful for that, but every day it's something like - "Here is what I did, you should do this" and long directions and pictures added to it. I normally just say thank you, or I'm already working on something similar, or I have my own ideas.
She gave me a laundry list of foods her son doesn't like and told me she'd bring nutella (to replace peanut butter and to smear on anything). I got her son to try peanut butter in a sandwich and he LOVED it. She also kept packing his DS and telling him to ask me if he could play it during Quiet Time. I never let him, and kept reiterating we don't play with electronics in daycare.
For a few days the two kids were very disrespectful to my toys and when allowed to play in rooms with my older kids they broke the rules and the oldest even broke a picture frame that was in a blocked off room, and didn't tell anyone. So for ONE day they had to stay with me at all times. I had a lot I had to get done, laminating, ect for the daycare and therefore they stayed with me in the baby room most of the day where there are a ton of toys, just made for toddlers and babies.
During nap time, when everyone is asleep but the 5 year old (whose mat is out of sight of the TV) I watch tv while I work on more daycare things. All my families know this, none have an issue with it. Including this family. Since I'm open 24/7 the TV does come on at times when kids are here. My family lives here too. The TV is in the baby room, so the only time the big kids are in here is nap time. Yesterday, I turned on the TV and it was on Spike or Bravo or something with CSI on. It was only on for a minute, and I didn't think too much of it as all the parents said their kids watch that kind of stuff at home since they watch what they are watching. I turned the channel to some documentary thing, that was all words and not any visuals.
At snack time I had an issue with the 5 year old. I made a plate of different foods, including one he didn't like, with the intention of exposing him to it while also allowing him other foods he did like. He immediately threw a fit and gave his pretzels away. A few minutes later he changed his mind and instead of asking for more, he started shouting that another little boy had stolen them. This child doesn't steal food, so I asked him to tell me the whole story and he admitted he gave them away but wanted them back. So I had him get down from the table for a few minutes so we could discuss lying, and when we were done I sat him back down and he threw a fit again, after being offered another pretzel to try. So again, I had him get down from the table. I don't allow kids to grump at the table about what they are eating, because it discourages other kids from eating it too. I told him he had to wait 10 minutes to eat snack, and he could eat with David (my son and his best buddy) when he got home. So when David got home I sat him down with then snack minus the raisins.
Last night after they were picked up, and mom was shocked that he had actually eaten PB! I also wrote in the take home notebook not to bring nutella or the DS to daycare as DCB didn't need it.
So I got this Loooooong text about an hour later, telling me that DCB had said he was not allowed to eat a snack until he was done throwing a fit and she didn't like that as it taught him I won't feed him if he's bad and only when he is good. Which, yes, in my home if you are throwing a temper tantrum at the table you must remove yourself until you are done. I do not reward any tantrums in my home. She also said DCB told her I was watching "adult tv" at nap time and he was scared. He never mentioned a word to me about it! It was literally one minute of CSI and he watches super hero movies at home! She asked "May I ask what you are watching" after a few accusatory sentences of everything I did wrong today.
I really felt like I was on trial and I truly believe it's because I've gotten DCB to behave a lot better, and to eat more foods. My husband wanted me to term this family a few weeks back and now he is amazed by their behaviour. I have been working really hard with them to do better here and it seems as if she is angry by that. I sat there completely dumbfounded and HURT, because I am a super friendly person who tries to not upset anyone but it feels as if everything I do is wrong.
Today during quiet time DCB told me, "Now, remember! Mom said you can't watch any TV anymore when I'm over here!" Well, mom did not, but I also don't appreciate using her kids to tell me what I can and can't do in my own home!
DCB is telling me also, I don't have to lay quietly, or for the full naptime because he will tell his mom on me. I feel as if she's told her children to be spies for her and try to get me in trouble, which is ridiculous, but thats really what it feels like.
Last night, we sent this email back in response to the texts
"Hey,
Sorry I missed you at the door, my baby has been super cranky lately and he needed some quiet while he nursed.
DCG was perfectly fine today and had no issues at all.
I guess I should have explained the toy thing better. The kids disrespected the rules about the toys yesterday so I explained to them that today, in order to earn my trust back they would need to not go into the main day care room with the toys unsupervised at all. We weren't able to spend too much time in the day care room today for various reasons but the kids had plenty of time in the living room where there are plenty of toys. They will be allowed to play unsupervised with the daycare toys again tomorrow, as long as they remain respectful and follow the rules.
The snack deal wasn't used against him in any way. I told him that since he ate his peanut butter at lunch like a champ, maybe he could try pretzels during snack time and see if he liked them. I also told him everyone would get pretzels and raisins so it would work out fine if he didn’t want the pretzels. I gave everyone the pretzels initially and before I had a chance to get anyone raisins, DCB began yelling about my two year old stealing his food. This is unlike my two year old so I asked DCB again what happened and he admitted that he had given his pretzels to my two year old. I asked him to leave the table for a few until he calmed down and when he came back I asked him if he wanted to try a pretzel again before getting the raisins. He said yes but began throwing a fit again directly after. I asked him to leave the table again and he wasn't allowed to come back until my 4 year old came home about 10 minutes later. At that point, he sat down with my 4 year old and was allowed to have raisins. DCB is well aware of the consequences of throwing a fit and getting up from the table, so having to sit out for a few minutes was a natural consequence.
As far as the tv goes, I tend to watch tv some during quiet time while I work on various things. I guess the tv got changed to CSI at some point (The dvr does this when it records stuff for whatever reason) and I didn’t notice for a minute or two. Once I realized I changed it but DCB didn’t mention anything so I didn’t think anything of it at the time.
Let me know if you need anything else. See you tomorrow!
"
My husband took care of pick up because I was nursing the baby.
This morning she just dropped them off and didn't say much. DCB said mom told dad to pick him up before quiet time so he didn't have to do it, which he didn't and it's know halfway through quiet time. DCB is making it plainly obvious that he is going to "tattle" on me. All my other parents love what I do, and agree with it. If I tell one of my DCD's about his daughter misbehaving he talks with her right there about it. I feel like I can't win, with this family, but as they pay me a good portion of my income right now I can't really afford to term them, although I think they may fire me before too long! What do I do?!