Originally Posted by Unregistered:
She sounds like a leader. I would make her my biggest helper and give her task to keep her busy and redirect. She needs busy work that will challenge her.
She also sounds like it's her job at home to care for younger ones or possible parent's.
It also sounds like she needs a little power, that is suited for her age. I would say to her.......yes he is almost ready for his breakfast, you are very observant to notice that. The things that annoy you are actually sounding like they are her assets to be.
Always hold her to respect and talking in a tone that is nice to you.
These kids can really challenge us, because they are on top of things more then we are at times.
Books, puzzles, jobs to do like picking up the blocks and making the area look special. Think ahead of her and when you can't have back up of busy work.
Fun fun fun look at her as it's my job to teach you because someday she might be taking care of you as a nurse, doctor, teacher, etc..... and you inspired her by showing her patience (not always easy to do, esp when you have JJ, John John, little dumpling, and booger nose all wanting you too)
I couldn't disagree with this more. In fact, I think this advise will harm the situation and even put the kid, workers, and other children at risk.
The child is ALREADY leading. She's an incompetent leader because she has not had the life experience of being led. THAT'S what's missing. She needs to have day after day where she FOLLOWS. Where she understands that she is to do as she is told and mind the adult.
She needs the boredom that comes from having to manage your enviornment without controlling the adults and kids and getting rewarded with extra special adult and your way with the kids.
She needs to be in front of KID toys and say "YOU do this". YOU make something of this. YOU find a way to keep yourself happy with things that are designed for YOU.
She's NOT showing signs of leadership and that she will do something great. She's showing signs of being overinduldged every where she goes. She's BEGGING for leadership. She's BEGGING for boredom. She's BEGGING for the boundaries that keep her within her own KIND... which is the other KIDS... not the adults.
NO SPECIAL. She's had a childhood of special. She needs plain and simple. Down to the minute... she goes and plays JUST like everyone else. She doesn't NEED explanations or affirmations of the words she's putting forward. She doesn't NEED an explanation of why the adult will take her words or not. She NEEDS to be told to
GO PLAY TOYS and nevermind what the adults are doing and MIND what they are saying to you. She needs to be completely WITHIN what the other kids are doing and BE... ONE... OF... THEM.
She's a ball of chaos... she's showing you what a kid looks like that is ALLOWED to lead with her words and her body. She needs to FOLLOW... for month after month after month...
When she does get to lead it needs to be in really small spurts and then go back to being one of many. She needs to EARN not DEMAND her leadership. She hasn't earned a role of leadership and she shows that she's happy with high level adult interaction. She's not lacking that. She'll get that with her parents where she is the one child in the house. In the group she needs to be JUST a regular kid in a group with the same expectations everyone else has.
Giving her special will escalate her and with that escalation will come hitting, pushing, shoving, tantruming, foul words, and one refusal after another. The day she refuses to follow directions when her SAFETY or another kids SAFETY is at risk will come very quickly with your plan.
It's NOT just about her. It's about the OTHER children AND the adults. The other kids don't like her ways and the adults don't either. They ALL need to have an enjoyable day. If you are going to do SPECIAL and wall to wall activities then do it for the ones who can easily switch to "go play toys" without any fussing or problems. THEY are your leaders... not a kid that acts like this.