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Blackcat31 06:55 AM 04-12-2017
Originally Posted by RIWorkingMom:
The fact that some of you are so quick to blame the child breaks my heart. I know there are some tough kids out there, but there are also some kids who have a tough time with change.
When posters said your DD may not be thriving in a mixed age group or wasn't a good fit for group care was in NO WAY blaming the child.

That's like saying your DD doesn't like yellow and blaming the crayon. When something isn't a good fit, it's not HER fault. I don't think anyone said that.



Originally Posted by RIWorkingMom:
I am still looking into a pre-k environment. My dd is smart. She knows her abcs, colors, shapes and counts to 10. She also sings countless other songs, and is great with completing puzzles beyond her age bracket. I want to keep her in an environment where she can flourish.
This is a perfect example of the difference in perspective for parent and provider.

As a parent, the things you listed in support of "being smart" aren't at all the things I view as important.

Group care requires children to be able to have patience, ability to thrive in with mixed aged peers, have manners, not be physically aggressive, social-emotional growth-maturity, can communicate needs, can follow instructions, stay on task, be willing to participate and/or observe new activities etc....

Those things are what make a child independent and mature. Knowing ABC's and 1,2,3's are important but she'll learn those things in school later in life.... the things I listed are the things I work on with children and what I measure a child's successful developmental progress according to.

I have a 2.5 yr old in care that knows all her ABC's and 1,2,3's in both Spanish and English as well as many other memorized academics but the same child is lacking in independence and social emotional development and that is what will cause the most issues in life. Until those skills are mastered, the academics don't matter much.

Originally Posted by RIWorkingMom:
So again, thank you. Maybe the dc is great with babies, but not ready for toddlers. However, there are better ways to talk to parents than saying your kid is not normal.
I agree there are better ways for the provider to say your child is not normal but there are also better ways to communicate with each other in general.

As the parent, ask the provider to elaborate on what she means by "not normal".

Not normal in general or not normal in this providers experience or not normal for your DD. There are several meanings that could have been her intent. If you are unsure and want to work with her (provider) ask, talk, communicate! Open honest communication is THE key to a successful working relationship between parent and provider.

What I say and what a parent hears aren't always the same thing (your example illustrates that perfectly) so discussing something, asking for clarification, tips, tricks, ideas and resources is not only the providers responsibility but your's as well.

As for the 2 naps a day, your DD is a bit old to still be taking 2 naps a day but depending on how ling her day in care is, how restful her night time sleep is and other factors, she might need two naps but that is something I would definitely be discussing with the provider.

Providing child care is a learning experience for everyone. Even the provider. So communication as we go along on this journey is SOOOO important. It's the best way to ensure that your child's needs are being met!
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