Originally Posted by Unregistered:
There have been no postings here since January so I don't know if my writing here will be seen, however I'm going to write anyway, maybe just because I need to....for sanity purposes.
I have three children, ages 30, 31 & 35. I am still haunted by suspecting....still being horrified at the possibility my oldest daughter was molested by her grandfather and I DID NOTHING. Feel free to call me a "troll" here, but I am a 59 yr. old woman who is still doing research because of this!! I believe it's possible these "trolls" you suspect are terrified people, scared to come forward, needing to be heard, poor communication skills....yes, it could be a troll, but err on the "belief" side, knowing something is wrong with the "troll" & even he may need empathy.
Parents, I beg of you to act on your gut feelings, or you may be "me" someday, still worrying, watching the longterm symptoms that convince me I WAS correct. 35 years of self-torture for sitting back and doing nothing!! I have tears running down my face this moment because I was "hogtied" in a dysfunctional family. I would've been thrown out of the family & my child taken from me & destroyed back in 1979 for acting on this. I believed I had no choice. The story is too long, but parents, I beg of you to ACT. "City Moms" please watch just one N. Geo. film on the female animal's vicious protection of her offspring. Being paranoid is our JOB.
I could write about my story all day, but here are things I saw and did nothing about: total obsession with the baby/toddler, psychologically "blind" & non-believing spouse.....constant "checking" and changing of the diaper, constant touching and holding, putting hands under child's clothes in playfulness....constant seduction of child with cookies, goodies & toys so child would sit on their lap, follow them, "love" them the most....constant taking the child off somewhere to "show them something" or "play a game." Literal "playing house" with Grandpa! These people even kept a crib in their bedroom and insisted the baby slept there when we visited....AND I ALLOWED IT! Red vulva after being in their home too long which I blamed on sugar-overload, orgasmal masturbation as a toddler. Hyperactivity to the point of "crazed." She'd run from Grandpa crazily when she got old enough to know she could. She grew to be precocious with males at a very young age, found exposing herself to her siblings (siblings were not "special" to the grandparents) she was found under a bush on top of the neighbor boy, humping him. I had to supervise her like a hawk until college. I was seen as "the one with the problem."
They literally "bought" my child & owned my husbands mind....I would try to talk to my husband and I was fingered as a troublemaking "B." I am an educated woman! I went to counseling! I was raised in a good family with normal boundaries and could not articulate what I was seeing because I'd never seen it before!!!!! I insisted we became "religious" to guard the family! I was STUPID! It was 1979.....I still believed in the happy family, women kowtowing to their husbands, Betty Crocker. I could not "say out loud" what I was seeing....I did not know how. Now the girl is 35, not married, very immature, promiscuous since college, has an alcohol problem, had to have cervix surgery due to disease & informed she will most likely never hold a pregancy....this was soon followed by a miscarriage after having sex with a young man she'd met the very same day. She came running to mama & I still cry. She is educated & has a good job, owns her own home, yet today is "in love" with a 40-some man who lives with his parents and works for a city garbage service...he has teeth gone.
It breaks my heart. Mothers, wake up and act, or you will be 60 years old, still crying and reading daycare forums.......
Your story is seen, mama. This is a very active forum, just not a very active post. I'm so, so sorry for what you and your daughter have gone through, went through. It certainly sounds to me like something was going on, and you know in your heart that something was. Have you ever sought counseling for either yourself or your daughter, or both? Have you ever talked to your daughter? I recommend you do both--seek counseling, and talk to her.
The way your husband and family treated you was wrong, and I"m very, very sorry. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.