"That's too rough! We use gentle touches with friends!" and demonstrate an acceptable gentle touch. You could demonstrate by hugging him gently and telling him, "This is a gentle hug. Friends like gentle hugs." You can make it really over-exaggerated--"Oh, what a nice gentle hug. Oh, I like gentle hugs. Gentle hugs are so nice. This is a gentle hug!"

Some of it will be waiting for him to mature a little, but if my 7 mo old can learn "gentle touch" then a 20 mo surely can.

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