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Stepping 12:42 PM 03-19-2014
Hello all,

I've had a difficult few days with my oldest dcb (3.75 yrs) and thought I should reach out for help before I slowly go insane!

DCbs parents are divorced. I'm not sure what the story is as they were already apart when he enrolled at 2 and 1/2.
He had been with a nanny up until age 2 1/2 when he came to me 3 days a week.
He recently (in January) changed to full time with me.
He is not a difficult child in the sense that he doesn't misbehave and is eager to please but he is very emotional and completely lacking in independence. For example, he still needs helping getting even rain boots off his feet! When he first enrolled at 2 1/2 he couldn't feed himself and put his hands behind his back and opened his mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed!

Anyway, he has been with me for over a year and was generally getting much better at being independent, not hoarding toys as much, being able to initiate play with out adult direction (all things he has struggled with in the past).

However, this last two weeks he has been extremely difficult. He whines every time something doesn't go his way. Cries hysterically for almost an hour at a time and just can not seem to listen to reason at all.

For example today, we all got wet playing outside in the snow. All children are attempting to change into dry clothes except for this boy. I explained that the first two to get dressed could come play in the messy room with me while I prep lunch. He then screamed at the gate hysterically (to the point of almost vomiting) that he wanted to be let in the messy room.

I tried to explain that because he didn't get himself ready, he wasn't able to join me. My assistant tried many times to comfort, cajole, distract, redirect etc but he just relentlessly screamed and screamed.

During lunch, we had all children sitting calmly and eating (even the babies) when he starts to whine again. 'I'm still hungry'. So I give more food. He pushes it away and whines 'I'm full, I don't want that!' I explain we don't talk like that in my house and that he needs to be excused. When I then pass more food to another child, he becomes hysterical again! 'Im hungry, I'm hungry'.

He screamed all the way through quiet time, all the way through potty/diaper time and nothing we did made any difference. He's been like this all week and it's exhausting me and distressing for the younger children.

So (sorry for the long vent) but I need tips for how to help this little guy deal with disappointment better. I'm meeting with mom tonight to discuss his behaviour and other than getting more sleep, I'm at a loss for what to say.

How would you handle this?