Originally Posted by moshimoshi:
Here's my ad:
Aloha! Parents, do you need a trustworthy person to provide a safe, nurturing environment for your keiki while you go to work, school, run errands, or have some "me" time?
I can help! I am a mom of three (ages 9, 7, and 14 months) providing child care in HPP. I love children. I am licensed by the state of Hawaii and have experience working with children of all ages. I am certified in infant and child CPR and first aid and a participant in the Quality Care Program and the USDA Child Care Food Program. As a child care provider, I am here to help foster cognitive, emotional, social, and physical development, and help children acquire the skills needed for school. A child's work is play. . .your child will be able to learn about the world and self and through play and other educational activities in our dedicated child care room and fenced yard. Nutritious meals and snacks are provided for FREE!
Full-time and part-time openings are now available. Hours are 6:30am to 5:30pm, but we can discuss your special scheduling needs (nights, weekends). Please contact me if you have any questions or are interested in an interview. Check out the website for exciting, new promotions!
New Customer Promotion! $100 off the regular child care fees for first three months!
I have some suggestions from a mom's point of view, not a providers. So i could be waaaayyy off base but.....
It's a good add but honestly, I would remove the discount program and the nights, weekends in parenthesis. I would also just say nutritious meals and snacks are provided. remove the free portion. I would move the as a child care provider to the beginning after I can help and move the i am a mom of three, licensed etc to a second seperate paragraph listing that you are cpr certified, state licensed (exclude in hawaii as people who are searching from you most likely realize that you are licensed in the same state they are in). I would also remove the please contact me line. Add the check my website in place of it and remove promotions info.
So you could say something like: You can find additional information about my child care services at this website. Please feel free to contact me at x (the email address above, through my website, this phone number, or however you want them to contact you.
I was an internet content writer for awhile and sadly it's always best to use short simple senses and short easy to read paragraphs. Many people just skim the ads for pertininent information. So putting like information in one easy to read short paragraph is easier to read on screen.
Also, you MAY want to include your rates. I'm sure other providers can give better advice, but me personally, I'd rather know in advance if I can afford the service before I wast my time or yours. It's not always that parents don't want to pay for good care, but I know my child care budget and the max I can afford. I feel more comfortable contacting someone if I already know I can pay for the services. It's hard to say wow, I really want you to watch my child but I can't afford it, sorry for wasting your time kwim??? But I could be way wrong on that aspect as I've never advertised as a provider before...
And I hope you don't take this as me bashing your ad, I really am just trying to be helpful
