I always protect kids who are playing nicely from the plunderings of others who don't know how or are choosing not to. I would allow your son do just as you've been.

As for the others, the younger one should definitely be able to play alone and absolutely the 4 year old, and also with friends. I agree that ten months is completely generous for teaching them. Someone, I believe Blackcat, sets a timer and the kids have to stick with whatever activity they have until times up. They can either play or stare at it, but they don't get to bother others or wander aimlessly. Maybe it's time for that?

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