Kids who run the home. Ugh. Right now, one of my dcfs is struggling with their twin 3 1/2 yo dds getting out of bed during the night because they WANT to play with the toys in their room. Dcgs are given all sorts of choices of which mittens, hats, etc., they want to wear home(it takes time to make everyone happy). Some mornings they come in their pjs because they didn't want to get dressed(don't a lot of dcs have it in their policies dcks should come dressed and ready for their day???)which, of course takes time from dc because mom dresses them here while breakfast is starting. These 2 dcgs are NOT good at listening, balk at everything I ask of them, will not get themselves ready to go out(although 1 is getting better; I know they can do it!)or get themselves undressed when we come back in. IOW, they refuse to do a lot of things here if they don't want to.
These are children who would bring teeny toys into dc because they wanted to; finally put the kabash on that. They would sleep with chapsticks when they were mere toddlers because they wanted to. Um, yikes!! They escaped from their house one day and were walking down the road 'going to work' they told mom and dad. If not for the neighbors seeing them, omg, what could have happened??
I believe there is a fine line between growing that autonomy that is spoken about and making sure kids KNOW right from wrong, or dangerous situations or when they need to listen to grown-ups. Yes, making choices is great for young children BUT it all comes down to appropriate choices. When it overlaps too much with safety or health concerns, the adult has got to step in. And that is when it becomes difficult for the child to accept the adult does have power and control.
JMO

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