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Old 08-22-2011, 12:58 PM
Brooklyn's Mommy
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Default My Child is also a Victim

My daughter has been attending the same daycare for 2 1/2 years (since she was almost 1) and has had constant, ongoing problems with being bitten. While in the baby room (before the age of 2), my daughter couldn't tell me who was biting her and the daycare's policy is not to disclose that information, but it was happening constantly (and really bad bites with broken skin, blood and teeth marks that lasted for days). Then, as my daughter's speaking skills developed, she started telling me it was this "Victoria" girl at her daycare that was biting her. For a while, I didn't believe her because they seem to play well together. The daycare just kept saying that it was because they were young and "the biter" didn't have the verbal skills to express herself, so she was biting when frustrated. Eventually, after my daughter repeatedly naming this child I felt quite certain it was "Victoria" who was doing the biting. I have now been able to learn more about the "incidents" when the biting is occuring and the daycare is baffled! Victoria is targetting my daughter (and others) completely UNPROVOKED! The last 3 incidents happened while my daughter was playing/reading on her own and Victoria comes out of no where and bites her! And THAT IS WITH A "SHADOW" STAFF PERSON WATCHING HER! The daycare has apparently tried everything in their power to keep the biter under watch and prevent her from biting (particularly my child because I have raised such a stink about it!). They give the biter time outs, remove her from play, have tried to make her help "her friend" by putting ice on the wounds that she causes and nothing works! This last incident happened with her "shadow" standing RIGHT THERE! The daycare has tried everthing. They have no clear policy on next steps (ie. expulsion) and they seem to be willing to continue to work with "the biter" even though (after 2 1/2 years) they have NO IDEA what her triggers are! The incidents are so random and can not be predicted in any way, yet they are very severe in nature.

As the parent of the victim, I have HAD ENOUGH! I don't care if your child is the biter and is "otherwise a good child"! If your child is repeatedly and consistently brutalizing and bullying all the other children, then REMOVE YOUR CHILD AND FIND ANOTHER MORE SUITABLE SETTING FOR YOUR CHILD! I am tired of hearing excuses for this behaviour! What type of message is it sending all the other kids?! First, it tells them that their safety and security doesn't matter and figuring out the psychy of the problem child is more important. Second, it tells them that there are no 'real' consequences for their actions and even if you break the rules, you will be fine. In fact! You are actually rewarded by breaking the rules because now you get a daycare provider devoted to you 24/7 to answer your every whim, while the other 7 children under that workers charge need to wait in line!

I have been VERY patient allowing them time over this past 2 1/2 years to figure things out and work with this child. NOTHING HAS WORKED and I am done waiting! I am done paying $500/month to have my child terrorized by one bully! My daughter is being robbed of her sense of security. I rely on her feeling safe and comfortable there, to make life less stressful and enjoyable for us both! Because of these incidences, I have a 3 1/2 year old who is terrified to go to daycare! I have to struggle to get her out of the house in the morning and then pry her from my neck when we get there. ALL BECAUSE SHE IS TERRIFIED, WONDERING WHEN THIS DEMON CHILD WILL ATTACK HER NEXT! I am exhausted with it all! I should not have to deal with the stress of this! Daycares are not required to "fix" your children! If you have a child with a behavioural problem, then remove your child and seek out the care that best suits their needs!

Thanks for reading.
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