Originally Posted by MCC:
I have a 20 mo DCB, he's been here for 3 months. We struggled in the first couple of weeks, but he has overall fit in to the program well.
The past few weeks he has been hitting and pushing the other kids, we are redirecting him as much as we can, but he is 20 months old, and short of my carrying him around all day, I'm not sure what else to do.
Yesterday at pick up, my favorite DCM of a 13 mo DCB pulled me aside to talk about the aggression she is noticing in the 20 mo. She said at drop off that morning 20mo DCB tackled 13mo dcb and was hitting him on the floor. My husband was with the kids at that point, and he confirmed that this did happen, and both him and DCM had to pull 20mo off of 13mo. DCM of 13mo was sweet about it, but she is concerned about her child being rough housed.
Is it fair to term a 20 month old for aggression? It seems young, but he is a bit of a terror. His mom doesn't seem concerned about the aggression, and said that they do let him rough house with cousins. I think it's a "boys will be boys" attitude. Is there anything else I can do to help him learn to touch nicely? Should I just term and be done with it?
TIA!
I would let dcm of 13 mo dcb know that you are creating an action plan. She has a valid concern, even if it's only based on what she saw. Then I would create a plan where you are intervening ahead of his aggression if possible. If he does hit keep reminding him "hands are not for hitting etc" and if need be I would separate him to an area where he can see the others, but can't play with them. Every time he hits or hurts someone take him to his own playspace. I wouldn't make it seem like a bad thing as he is too young for time out but eventually he will make the connection that if you hit or hurt you do not get to join the fun. Help him practice gentle touching with you, stuffed animals and doll babies. It's typical of some children his age to be aggressive in their play. I don't know that you need to term yet without trying a plan first. Good luck!