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Old 10-03-2012, 11:08 PM
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nanglgrl nanglgrl is online now Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,644

Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but your son's soon to be step-mom is part of his (yor son's) household and even if information is strictly given to your ex-husband, she will still be aware of it and know about it regardless.

I really don't think it should matter who the info was actually handed to as she IS part of the same household and it would be in your son's best interest if ALL the adults in his life worked together to co-parent.

If I were your son's child care I too, would provide information to your household and to your ex's household, including the step mother if she were the one picking up or dropping off.
I agree. I think I know what the poster is feeling but I could be wrong. I'm divorced and have been through a similar situation. For me it was hard when my ex let his new wife into our son's life. I was his mom not this other woman. I didn't want people to think she was his mom, I gave birth to him, taught him, nursed him and comforted him through sickness and heartache. I didn't want her influence on him even if she believed the same things I did because he was a piece of me and not her. I hated when people would refer to her as step mom, as I thought she should just be called her name...she wasn't his mom. A new teacher once said my son looked just like her (not realizing she was the step mom and I was the mom) and my heart physically hurt. It was selfish thinking and it wasn't healthy, for the sake of our child I got over it quickly.
That said, the reasoning behind being upset about the girlfriend getting paperwork from daycare seems petty (even if at one time I could relate) especially since she will most likely see or hear about it anyway from the ex husband. If you can't give yourself a truly valid reason why something is wrong maybe it's time to rethink your position. Unless it is actually harmful to your child you can't try to have control over what happens at your ex's house or on his watch (just like he doesn't have control on your watch) all you can do is be the best mom possible and don't fight the fights that are better left alone.
I firmly believe that because my ex and I were able to get over the bad feelings and do our best to raise the child we brought into the world as a team is why our son turned out so well. He may have even ended up more well rounded because of his step parents, he certainly had more people to love him and in the end that's what really counts.
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