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Old 01-27-2020, 05:15 PM
nanglgrl's Avatar
nanglgrl nanglgrl is online now Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,644
Default I quit.

Uggghhhh...potty training. After so many years trying to convince parents to wait until their child was actually ready and meets certain criteria (with very limited success). Iíve given up. Iíve probably initiated and successfully ďtrainedĒ at least 50 children but what do I know.

As long as they wear pull-ups over their underwear if they still have accidents Iíve come to the point where I just say ďwhateverĒ and just do as the parents ask. Reminders every hour? Fine. Potty chair instead of big toilet with steps and a handle because thatís what is causing the problem? If you say so. They think itís normal for me to have to ask the child every time, they think itís normal that the child always says they went when they didnít, they think itís normal for the child to sit on the potty forever until I tell them they need to get down because itís been 10 minutes, they are fine with the child holding it all day as long as they arenít peeing in diapers.

Iíve seen what all of this leads to. Iíve dealt with many children who have come to me ďtrainedĒ and were an emotional and physical wreck because of it. In the end they usually end up actually trained much later than they probably would have if they had taken the lead instead of adults. Telling the insistent parents this information does no good.

These are the children that take forever to be fully trained instead of 1-2 weeks when adults wait until the child is ready. These are the children who seem successful but then start having accidents as 3.5, throw tantrums about trying, end up with UTIís, have accidents any time theyíre not reminded etc.

Itís always the first child. The parents with older siblings usually listen to me and let me take the lead. I canít have this fight anymore. Iím exhausted. It doesnít matter what information I send their child is always unique and doing so great at home unless I listen to the contradictory information about whatís really happening at home that the parent accidentally discloses. I give a packet full of actual studies and doesnít matter.

Trying to tell parents that their child is in the early stage of training where their body is partially ready (they can hold it) but their brain isnít (canít actually go without being reminded, needs to sit for long periods to go etc.) and that we can remind them all the time for months or wait until all systems align and have the entire process completed in a week is fruitless.

I canít do it. I want to scream.

Conversation today:
parent: did he stay dry all day?
Me: yes, but I think heís holding it
parent: well I guess a UTI is better than diapers

No, no. No.

a different parent: Did you see if he actually peed when he was on the potty?
Me: no, he sits for a really long time and only goes to the potty with a reminder.
Parent: can you watch to see if he actually goes. I dont want him to get a UTI.
Me: Iíd have to spend an hour in the bathroom a day to catch it coming out and once itís in the toilet I canít tell. I have other children to care for and canít spend that much time in the bathroom.
Parent: itís such an individualized process with each child. He needs a lot of time to sit and get comfortable with going.

No. No. No.

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