Oh my, I did read your whole post but don't think I made it through the first 1/4 without thinking this family would be history yesterday!! I'm extremely shy and loathe confrontation. Trust me on this. But no way NO WAY would I put up with everything you've put up with. I agree with PP, keep it short and to the point and if they insist on knowing why just say I can no longer provide care. You do NOT need to give any other reason at all. Unfriend them(or whatever you do) from instagram/fb and wherever else you're connected in the cyber world and be done.
You don't need to(you have no contract but even so, with all those issues it could be immediate grounds for termination) but if you feel you should, you could allow them a few days notice.
I know you said you need the $ but you're allowing yourself to be used and abused for a few bucks. Eat beans and rice and do as PP suggested. Get a contract. Replace with good families. Protect YOUR rights and business and find out the regulations for your state. You say you can't afford licensing but you can't not afford following rules too. Good luck!! If you inquire about licensing it's possible you could get financial help to get what's required.

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