Originally Posted by melilley:
I just wanted to let you know that I do sympathize with you.
It's hard to leave your baby. It's hard to know that they are with someone else and not you. It's hard when they cry, especially when they aren't with you. Sometimes, it can just be plain hard.
With that said, I've been on both sides. When I had my dd (10 years ago), I took her to a fcc part time, but not until she was 1. She didn't cry, and seemed to like it so it it was easy for me.
Then when she was 3, I took her to a center dc. I worked there so it was a little easier for me, but she did cry sometimes and it did break my heart, BUT I trusted the teacher and knew that I had to give it time and had to walk away when she cried, it was hard, but if I stayed it would have been worse. (I worked there, but tried to not let her see me unless it was time to go home).
But, during both times, I was in school for child development and had been and was working with children in a dc environment, and that combined with all my experiences working with families, I knew what to expect and what worked best, especially for the child's well being. Even though I hated to see my dd cry (I'm a huge softie), I knew that me being by her only made it worse.
Sorry, I'm trying to get my point across and it's dragging on....lol
I guess what I'm trying to say is I think that we, as providers, have the experience of working with children and their families, have seen many different scenario's of different family dynamic's (if that makes sense) and know the in's and out's of child development (not all providers, but most). It's easy for us to say do this and do that, because we have been there and done that.
But you as parents, (many) do not have the experience working with kids in a dc/fcc environment. It's really hard for some to see what we see because you haven't been there or done that. I'm not in any way putting anyone down, just saying that it can be really hard for parents to take our advice and be comfortable with it when they have no experience in this field outside of their own children. Just like I probably wouldn't know what to do with your job...
All I can say is take the advice you get on here and do what YOU feel is best.
Gosh....I hope this makes sense. I have a hard time getting my point across, I know what I want to say, just not how to say it! And I think it's awesome that you came on here to get advice, and from your responses, are taking or looking into it! 
Good luck!
Thank you! It has been insanely hard. I think since she was so colicky when she was little I developed a really strong bond with her.
It seems there are a few providers here that say they'd be OK with my staying. And then a couple who seem to be freaking out. So I guess there's a wide range. I think since my provider is new she might not freak out; doesn't have all the buildup from years of dealing with difficult parents. But I can see how it would come off as a slight and I don't want to diminish her confidence with my LO. And as you pointed out, there is the element of my "rescuer" mentality that might create too much anxiety while I'm there which wouldn't help anything. Eh! I need to let her know by today whether LO is coming tomorrow or not. Argh! There's so much to consider.