I'll respond to your post in two parts...
First - It drives me CRAZY when first time parents tell me what to do. Uh, I have four kids. Trust me, not only do I learn every day that I know nothing about parenting - you have one kid, you know NOTHING about parenting. Read every book you want, the only way to learn this stuff is to go through it.
Second - I'm a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician (car seat tech) which I voluntarily took four days of (unpaid) leave from work to become certified in. Rear facing until AT LEAST age two is recommended. It is five times safer! It has nothing to do with age/maturity of the child. It has to do with the development of a child's bone structure. In a crash, a forward facing child will be thrust forward at such a high rate of speed (even in a low impact crash) that they could actually sever their spinal chord internally resulting in paralysis or even death. This happens because a child's bones are still soft (allowing the head and neck to move forward while the body is - hopefully - restrained by the harness straps) and their head still makes up a large portion of their body. To the opposite effect, in a crash, a rear facing child is cradled by the car seat - the seat will absorb the crash force and the child will be much better protected. Plus, there is no drastic forward movement.
I have a 28lb 2.5 year old - she's still rear-facing in a Britax Boulevard. There are several seats on the market that now rear-face to 40llbs. Oh, and just in case anyone wonders - it's perfectly fine for a child's legs to be bent/folded and touching the back of the vehicle seat. There have been no reports of children breaking their legs while rear-facing in a crash. Even so, I'd take a broken leg over a broken spine anyday!
For more information visit
http://www.car-seat.org/.
Okay, off my soap box now...
