I do find it odd and think she should have asked first. Just come out and ask her, you are entrusting your childs care to her, and if she lies about that, then do you really know whats going on when you're not there? However, if she is great, then sometimes you need to take the good with the bad. If doing her laundry during the day, to make it easier on herself when she gets home to take care of her own family makes her less stressed, she will be better with your kids without the feeling of falling behind when she gets home, then maybe it's worth it. If you are not comfortable asking her about something so minor, then maybe she is not the right person to take care of what should be your most valuable asset.

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