When you use group care for your child, your child needs to be taught how to behave within a group. Yes, they don't want one child to wake the others, which is why they're taught to stay on their cot until nap is over. I don't see a problem with that-I LOVE to lie in bed for a while after waking! It's a good time to reflect and relax while awake. It's also a time that the brain is developing in children-"crib talk" (babbling upon waking) is very important. It's doing your child no harm to lie on her cot for a while after waking.

As far as the pooping: hard to know. Some kids poop intentionally to try to get up from nap (before or after), some kids actually do poop in their sleep. I doubt she was left in it for long, but I do think that a child should be changed in a reasonable amount of time after pooping, regardless of it being naptime or not.

Bottom line: Kids in group care have to conform to the group. They can't let one or two kids run around and play during quiet time. Lying on the cot for a reasonable amount of time is not only not harmful, but is probably beneficial. My own pediatrician told me of my own son when he started resisting naps that rest time is essential whether he sleeps or not, and that while I can't force him to sleep, I CAN and SHOULD force him to rest his body during the afternoon nap time.

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