Originally Posted by Dsquared:
Hi ladies,
I posted about this issue the other day. I have a family that I take care of their two kids. They are now divorced. I don’t deal with the dad anymore. The mom still has them coming here 2 days a week and the dad pulled them from my care and put them in kindercare. The reason he gave is he felt like the wife was watching him, and was a threat to him. He has very odd strange paranoid behavior. The mom sent me a text today telling me that her lawyer said I have to go to court whether I like it or not to testify about the behavior I witnessed from him. I absolutely do not want to do this. I don’t want to take sides in court and he will get very angry because he’s never really done anything to me. I’m afraid if i have to go to court and say anything against him he will ruin my business. I’m not sure why the mom is dragging me in this. What can I do? Do I have to go to court? I’m sick over this. Today she got a restraining order against him and he’s lost 2 weeks of custody with the kids. I just don’t want to take sides. Has anyone dealt with this isssue?
I would terminate care with mom for sure. Let her know that being drug into their custody battle is not acceptable in your daycare. If you are served the subpoena, you will abide by what the law says you have to do, but the only information you have concerning dad is that he paid on time, showed up on time, and his kids were in good health(if that was the case). Beyond that, any other info is purely speculation or second hand info from the mom. You weren't in their home with them, you are not involved in their private life, so you cant really give a fair statement on what happened outside of daycare. As far as dad's paranoia, he was worried about the mothers behavior, and to his credit, he may have had a point, since she was able to get a restraining order and he lost some custody of his children. If there is more to his story, they have plenty of other people they can go to to find out and cooberate her story. The daycare provider is the person with the least info concerning dad's Behavior. We see the parents for less than 20 minutes each day, so there are plenty of other people in his life who spend far more time with him.
But regardless of whether you end up having to testify, the mother has pushed the boundary too far and now she needs to be terminated. Daycare is a neutral environment for the sake of the child. The provider should never be used as a pawn in a parental custody battle. The only time a provider should be involved, is if abuse is suspected or seen, in which case, the provider would report that directly to the state. If you've never felt the need to report this father prior to this event, then the only information you can offer is whether he paid on time, showed up on time, and his kids were in good health. And if he did those things, you may end up helping dads case more than hurting it. Good luck to you!
