Hello!

Before I get attacked in this "pro-daycare" message board, I would like to say that I don't have problems with my next door neighbor running a daycare. In fact, I even helped her on a few occasions (English not being her first language, and she's not very tech savvy). I even donated toys, and when I dropped them off, I even stuck around to play with the children for a bit.

Despite my annoyance with the parents being rude and inconsiderate (driving the wrong direction in a one-way roundabout road just to cut through and get to the daycare home 10 seconds quicker, blocking my garage/driveway on several occasions), I've never complained. I was the perfect neighbor (past tense because now I have problems with living next to a daycare). Whenever the daycare home had issues with repairs (an attached home that is being rented by the daycare owner), I would advise her on how to approach her landlord. We had little positive interactions like those throughout the years.

The issues started since Covid. I understand that daycares are more important now than ever, especially with essential workers who have kids. I don't knock that, ever. The problem is that with Covid, I am now working from home as well. I have a role that requires me to be in a lot of meetings, and my position requires some serious heavy thinking, brainstorming, etc. My office window is perched on the side where the daycare has their backyard, so I hear EVERYTHING. Our neighborhood is like an amphitheater, so sounds are amplified. I've tried closing my windows, using noise-cancelling headphones, moving to a different part of the house, everything! I've paired and combined where I could to minimize the disturbance, and nothing works. It's to a point where I wake up dreading another day of mentally dealing with the stresses of the noises - all the screaming, yelling, crying, and stomping children as they play in the backyard.

I've approached the neighbor kindly, and she gave me a very disheartening response of "this is an attached home. Neighbors will just have to hear other neighbors." That was an unexpected response, and I could tell she was getting defensive. I suggested going to the MANY open parks and spaces for the children to run around in (there are literally 5 within a 2-minute or less walking distance) when they need some time outside, and otherwise, to please keep them inside when possible. I asked that she do this only until the pandemic is over and I can start working from the office again.

I'm so stressed by the sound of children playing or throwing tantrums, I'll hear it echoing in my head long after the children have been picked up by their parents. The noises are literally driving me insane. I've had to start recording my meetings so I could review them again at a quieter time because the sound of the children playing in the backyard would distract me beyond the point of productivity.

I've asked her to take the kids inside if they get fussy or too energetic. I asked her to be mindful of my working from home so that I could make a living too. The last time we talked, she gave me her number to text if the kids ever got too loud during my meetings. That went well for a few weeks, until I realized that I was texting her more frequently, and she was responding less to my texts. My assumption is that she lets her kids get as loud as they want until I text her. Only then, would she take that as her cue to quiet them down. But there's nothing preemptive done on her end.

I'm flabbergasted. I'm at my wit's end.

I'm turning to this daycare board in hopes that someone could help me approach this more tactfully.

I've already tried several approaches. Aside from the ones mentioned above, I also recommended that the children only come out during a certain time of the day so I could mentally prepare (this does not work! Children will randomly come out throughout the day to play, and I cannot leave my home office to walk over to complain to her while she's dealing with 8+ rowdy children).

And last but not least, to offer some perspective: I have lived in this home for 15+ years. We recently paid off our home. She is a renter. She's lived in the neighborhood for no more than 10 years. The first few years she's rented the home, she had a different occupation. She had started her daycare maybe about... 5-7 years ago?

For those who have read my post, thank you. I apologize if my post is all over the place. It's not as well-organized as I hoped, but at this point, I've lost my mind. Please approach this with the same level of respect and empathy as I am trying to do for your fellow home daycare owner.

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