I work in a center, in the one-year-old room, so I have had my share of nervous, anxious, over-protective parents. Most of it is completely understandable; I'm not a mom so I can't imagine how hard it is to leave your baby in someone else's care. I have always done my best to make parents feel as comfortable as possible. However, in ten years I have never encountered a parent quite like this.
Dcg (15 months) was enrolled and set to start in my room in September. Dcm came with dgc to see the room a few weeks ago, and in the few minutes they were here, raised a few red flags. Dcg has now come for several drop in days, for a few hours each, to "get used to things" before starting full time. I am now very concerned about ever pleasing this dcm and making her feel comfortable.
The issues:
-Dcm become very emotional "at the thought" of her daughter ever getting hurt (we're talking typical childhood bumps and scrapes)
-dcm said she "can't stand the idea" of her daughter ever being upset
-dcm said she's not sure how well dcg will nap here because she breast feeds her to sleep at home
-dcm said she doesn't ever let dcg cry at home
-day 1 drop off was great, dcg went straight into playing/exploring the room, dcm was great about leaving right away. However, she lingered outside the room, and dcg saw here peeking in the window and became very upset. We could not get her to calm down the rest of the day.
-day 2 dcg became upset at drop off, but dcm was still able to take our advise and leave. We were able to get dcg to calm down and play for a while, though she was still upset on and off. The several times mom called and when she picked up mom was upset that dcg was crying here, even though we tried to tell her it was perfectly normal and that she needed time to adjust.
-day 3 dcm and dcd dropped off together. Dcd was going to drop off, but dcg threw a fit when he tried to take her from mom. Apparently this is normal, and dcg cries if mom leaves her with dad or grandparents. Dcm said she thought it might be better if she stayed for a little bit, even though we tried to dissuade her. She stayed for maybe ten minutes at drop off. Dcg was very upset when she did leave, and we could not get her to calm down, like we did the day before when mom left right away.
-dcg is obviously used to getting her complete way at home. She did not want to sit for lunch and screamed when we tried to sit her in a chair. She did not really eat much for us the times she was here

I'm just not sure what to do or how I can help dcm. I'm afraid she just isn't emotionally ready for this change, and her anxiety is making dcg upset. Anxious parents make for anxious children. I'm worried that dcg is going to take a lot longer to adjust, especially with dcm being visibly upset at drop off and pick up. Dcg's crying and screaming is hard to deal with, but part of the job. I just fear that I have to help mom cope before things will get better for dcg. Any advise on how to help dcm? Our directors have just said to "keep doing what we're doing" but I'd really like to find a way to help the situation improve.

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