My first thought was this :

Is he an only or very much younger than other kids at home?

By "mellow" (parents) do you mean "sit and watch him misbehave"?

Not trying to be rude or anything, but if he is new to you, this is obviously being allowed at home. It may take you a bit to show him that those actions DO NOT get him any attention at your house, nor does it get him out of cleaning up. If he is not new to your group, I would still work along the lines of "that is not going to get you anywhere". By nature, humans only continue behaviors that have a good "pay off"....meaning, if it works, they keep doing it. I would give it very little reinforcement, positive or negative. Only give it as much attention as is needed to deal with the situation at hand, and then later, when he is not in an angry or defiant mode, try playing a game or finding some other way to model/discuss (at their level) how to be nice and cooperative and why we are that way.
Granted, dck are with us a lot of the day, but what happens and is allowed at home with parents is huge. I would continue to discuss the situation with them. I wouldn't hesitate to suggest to them what you find works for you.

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