Originally Posted by Crystal:
So, Nan...I find it interesting that this is what you state here, but your policies, that are posted on your website seem completely opposite.
This is what you say in your policies:
. When children have escalating behavior we use “proximity control” or physically close supervision until the child exhibits the behaviors we seek for normal group activity. ( I would consider this shadowing)
We rely on the other children to show children with unwanted behavior what behavior we expect and promote. If a child persists with unacceptable behavior we “team” them up with the child in the day care who is able to show them the proper way to conduct themselves. When children with behavior issues are surrounded by balanced and stable children they will adjust quickly to the conduct of the rest of the group. We encourage the older children to model kind and co-operative behavior and to mentor the younger children who need help. Works like a charm. (I would consider this NOT being excluded or "confined" but remaining with the group to learn appropriate group behavior)
So, I am curious as to which philosophy you actually apply with your children?
Sorry I didn't see this. Too much time watching the new episode of....
Good questions:
What you bolded second:
Separation third. I have the physical space to give a child that needs their own area their own area.
You didn't include this which would be first:
Discipline: We have little behavior issues with our kids. They don't hit, bite, fight, or be mean to each other in any way. The love each other and treat each other with respect and admiration. Most if not all of the children here have been raised with us since they were newborns or young infants. They have been brought up in our ways and have a strong attachment to the other kids and to their Nan.
We use a strict supervision and correction system that pretty much eliminates any aggressive behavior. We have "rules of play" that are wrought from 30 years of experience caring for kids which keep the kids focused on the toys and co-operative play. When children have escalating behavior we use "proximity control" or physically close supervision until the child exhibits the behaviors we seek for normal group activity.
So we guarantee that we have little behavior issues. We guarantee they don't hit, bite, fight or be mean to each other.
We discuss the "strict supervision and CORRECTION system and our rules of play. I have incoming parents read the rules of play on my blog.
IF the above did not work I would use separation with supervision. I have 150 square foot of space for each child in the house so I would easily have enough room to give a kid that was persistently acting out their own area.
What I definitely would NOT do is play with a child repairing the toys they just broke.
Shadowing is easily possible in my setting because of the way i have the room set up. We have the set up to sit the adult in close proximity to anyone who needs it and enough stuff to keep them busy while the adult is tending to what they need. I also don't have the adult doing close proximal supervision having to leave the area at all. That's a benny in having a full time staff assistant but I know is not easily replacable when you are doing care by yourself. If you are by yourself I would reccomend having play yard panels to separate the chlld physically within the area you are working so that you can come and go into the kitchen or bathroom without worry.
I'm a very strong believer in "go to bed" and think it's a sad thing that it has been removed as a reasonable consequence for acts of aggression, violence, distruction etc.. the really high level offenses. I think a lot of states have prohibited it because it is abused and not used as a measure of last resort.
I remember when I was a kid and visiting my aunties with my mom. I came inside and said something smart to my mom and my mom and two aunties turned their heads towards me ...... gave me the evil eye....... and said in unison "do you want to go to bed?" They weren't kidding and even though I was at my aunts they would have gladly popped me into my cousins bed for as long as it took to get the idea to watch how I talk to the Mama.
Bottom line is we have removed pretty much every affective means of disciplining kids now and providers feel overwhelmed with the notion that they are caring for kids that get to do whatever they want with absolutely no real consequence. We have to abide by the rules but it doesn't mean that the discipline ones aren't really bad ideas and don't work. Our kids behavior on a whole isn't getting better. Ask any vet school teacher what they think and you will most likely hear that it gets worse every year and is getting worse real quick like now.